Dealing with smokers

Almost every school has its "smokers corner", a place where pupils go for a cigarette at breaks and lunchtimes. At Anfield this was in the area between the craft block and the perimeter fence.

Each breaktime you could see the plume of smoke rise as the pupils  light up. Of course by the time you got there the young boys who were standing guard had given the alert and all that was left were butts on the ground.

So there was a bit of a game played between staff and pupils. You'd give the smokers chance to satisfy their need for nicotine before wandering over to show your face.

One day, the Biology teacher I've mentioned previously, decided to play a trick on the smokers. Just before the start of break he climbed up onto the craft block roof with a bucket of water and positioned himself where the smokers would congregate. Once they'd arrived and light up, he dowsed them with the water. Of course the smokers shouted out in protest to which he replied, "I'm sorry I thought there was a fire". The smokers now had a problem. Should they go and visit their Year Heads and ask if they could go home for dry clothes or sit it out for the rest of the morning wet through.

Then there was the occasion when Roger and I were wandering around the school taking photographs. We came across a pair of smokers in the area where the bike sheds had been. I quickly raised the camera to my eye and pressed the shutter. The boys begged me not to send the photographs to their parents, even offered me money. What they didn't know was that I had just run out of film.

Cannabis

At the school where I finished my career, the group that caused the biggest problem with smoking were the girls. Their chosen venue was the toilets which were opposite the staffroom door.

We spent a lot of money refurbishing the pupils' toilets to make them pleasant and comfortable. Whilst the boy's toilets stayed in good condition, the girl's were a disgrace within weeks. There was graffiti on  the walls, the seats had been broken off, the floor was covered in chewing gum and burn marks; they even managed to remove the pans in two of the cubicles.

The growing concern in schools is for the number of children smoking cannabis both on and off the premises. A few years back, the Head of First Year at Anfield became  aware that some of her charges had fallen prey to the weed so she summoned the Deputy Head Pastoral and between them they concocted a devious plot.

The two of them managed to convince 180 children that they had a simple medical test which could detect if someone had smoked cannabis in the last three months.

The children were given a day to confess to having smoked a joint. Those that didn't would be tested and if the test was positive, they would be handed over to the police.

The teachers were flabbergasted when half of the children came forward to confess. Their trick had uncovered a problem which they clearly had no solution for.

Sometimes it is best not to know too much about what the children are up to.